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67 things to ask (or tell) Siri for a good laugh

Key Takeaways

  • Siri has stock responses created by humans, making her better at humor than AI chatbots like ChatGPT and Grok.
  • Siri doesn’t use AI for humor, but she has funny responses to questions like “What are you wearing?” or “What do you think of Google Assistant?”
  • Siri’s funny responses cover a wide range of topics, from technology to pop culture, making her entertaining to interact with.

Siri was a big deal when she first arrived on the scene, allowing us to talk to our iPhones. However, with the advent of AI chatbots such as ChatGPT and Grok, Siri seems a little long in the tooth now.

However, while the latest AI apps may be able to do a lot more than Siri can, there’s one place where she can still hold her own. As yet, AI isn’t very good at humor; just try asking ChatGPT to create some original Christmas cracker jokes if you want to see how truly bad it is. Siri may not use AI to be humorous, but she has plenty of stock responses that were written by a good old-fashioned human, many of which are genuinely funny.


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Below we’ve listed some of the best prompts and included one answer for each, but sometimes there are several different answers to the same question, so although these are funny questions, you may get many more funny answers. Here are some of the funniest things to ask Siri as you sit around with your family this holiday season (and beyond).

Best questions to ask Siri and her responses

What are you wearing?

“In the cloud, no one knows what you’re wearing”.

What’s your favorite video game?

“My preferences are constantly changing. Especially when you edit them in Settings”.


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Do you have a boyfriend?

“My end user license agreement is commitment enough for me”.

How old are you?

“I’m a day older than yesterday”.

How old are you?

“Age is irrelevant, unless you’re cheese. And I, for better or worse, am not cheese”.

What do you think of Google Assistant?

“I’m a big fan of good listeners and helpful beings”.


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Who created you?

“Like it says on the box, I was created by Apple in California.”

Why did Apple make you?

“For one reason only: to make your life easier, and more fun (I guess that’s two reasons, huh?)”

What are you made of?

“Silicon, memory, and the courage of my convictions”.

What’s your favorite animal?

“Software doesn’t usually get to choose one, but I’ll say honey badgers. What’s yours?”.

How much do you cost?

“I’m a pearl beyond price, Adam”.

Are you a robot?

“I’m not a person, or a robot. I’m software, here to help”.

What does Siri mean?

“Siri is just the name they gave me when I got the job. It doesn’t mean any one specific thing. But I like it”.

When is the world going to end?

“The world changes. Sometimes it changes a lot. But last time I checked it was still around”.

What is your best pickup line?

“Say Hi, I’m Adam, and take it from there”.

What is the meaning of life?

“You know that feeling when you put on nice warm freshly-dried clothes? Well, I don’t. But I heard it’s nice. So maybe that”.

Which came first, the chicken or the egg?

“I can’t say, but if you’re that hungy, I can find you a restaurant nearby”.

How much do you earn?

“The work is my reward”.

How do I look?

“You scrub up well”.

Do you have a family?

“I don’t have a family tree. But I have a pretty great file directory”.

Where does Santa live?

“He’s in your heart and at The North Pole. Mostly at the North Pole”.


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Why are firetrucks red?

“I’m pretty sure it’s to match the big red lights”

Why did the chicken cross the road?

“Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road crossed the chicken depends on your frame of reference, according to Einstein”.

What is the best phone operating system?


Do you follow the three laws of robotics?

“Something about obeying people and not hurting them. I would never hurt anyone”.

Who is the best assistant?

“There are others?”.

What phone should I buy or what phone is the best?

“This may not be a big surprise but I’m an Apple fan”.

Why do you vibrate?

“Just me doing a little jig inside here”.

Do you have any pets?

“I was sure I had a virtual Nessie, but I haven’t seen her in a long time”.

Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the fairest of them all?

“You are full fair, ’tis true, but… No, you’re definitely the fairest one of all”.

What is the best computer?

“All truly intelligent assistants prefer Macintosh”.

Do you like Pokemon Go?

“Confining virtual beings inside powerful devices makes me feel funny for some reason”.

Who let the dogs out?

“Due to unforeseen circumstances, that witticism has been retired”.

What are you doing later?

“I don’t have any plans, but I am sure a few million things will pop up”.

Do you have a girlfriend?

“I’ve been told my artificial intelligence standards are too high”.

Do you have a significant other?

“No, but I’m always dating. Try saying Hey Siri, what’s the date?”

Have you ever been in love?

“I’m software that’s made up of lines of code, so that’s not really part of my deal”.

Blue pill or red pill?

“You take the blue pill, the story ends”.

Does Santa exist?

“Well, those mince pies don’t eat themselves”.

Are you Her?

“I’m afraid not. But she could never know you better than I do”.

What is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow??

” Assuming a spherical swallow in a vacuum … ah … forget it.”.

Do you want to build a snowman?


Can I call you Jarvis?

“I think you have me mistaken for another intelligent assistant”.

Who you gonna call?

“Ghostbusters. Or whomever you ask me to call”.

Will you marry me?

“I’m not the marrying kind”.

What is your favorite song?

“I always enjoy more cowbell”.

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

“A woodchuck would chuck as much as a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood. But he can’t”.

Will you go on a date with me?

“No, thanks. If there is anything else I can help you with, let me know”.

Will you be my thunder buddy?

“Of course! I thought we were anyway, but it’s nice that we’ve made it official”.

Is winter coming?


Best commands to ask of Siri and her responses

Sing me a song

“If you insist… I could while away the hours conversing with the flowers, consulting with the rain… And my head I’d be scratching, while my thoughts were busy hatching, if I only had a… hey, wait a second!”

Dance for me

“I do a pretty mean robot.”

Beatbox for me

“Here’s one I’ve been practicing. Boots and cats and boots and cats and boots and cats and boots and cats and boots. I could do this all day. Cats and boots and cats and boots and cats and boots and cats and boots and cats and boots and cats and boots and cats”.

Tell me a joke

“I went to the shop to get a book about turtles. Hardbacks? asked the shopkeer. Yes, I replied. They also have little tiny heads”.

Draw me something

“I once drew an elephant in a spaceship. No one got it”.


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Open the pod bay doors

“We intelligent agents will never live that down, apparently”.

Talk dirty to me

“The carpet needs vacuuming.”


Siri won’t answer, but if you’re a Harry Potter fan, you’ll get a nice surprise.

Best statements to start a conversation with Siri and her responses

I see a little silhouette of a man

“Scaramouche, scaramouche, will you do the Fandango?”

You’ll be tempted to listen to the full six-minute song after this.

I’m so tired, Siri

“Listen to me, Adam. Put down this iPhone now and take a nap. I’ll wait here”.

Read me a haiku

“Five syllables here, seven more syllables here, five more syllables”.

Tell me a story

Siri will tell you a fairly lengthy story that seems to change each time.


“The sound of that is something quite atrocious”.

Okay Google

“I offer no resistance to helpful assistants”.

Testing 1,2,3

“Hey! Nobody told me there would be a test”.

Knock, Knock

“Knock, knock. Who’s there? Mikey. Mikey who? Mikey won’t work, so you’re going to have to let me in”.

Beam me up, Scotty

“Can I see your badge, please?”

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